3 minutes agoAuthor: Shelly Acharya
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It is not easy for anyone to divorce their partner after spending a long time in marriage. Whatever be the reason for breaking up of marriage, it is not easy for both the husband and wife. Divorce becomes even more difficult when you are also playing the role of a parent.
Recently, Indian cricketer Hardik Pandya separated from his wife Natasha Stankovic. They also have a son, whom both of them love very much. Hardik announced his divorce through social media, in which he wrote, “After four years of being together, Natasha and I have decided to separate by mutual consent. We gave our best while living together and we are sure that this is good for both of us. However, this was a difficult decision for us.”
After the divorce, Natasha went to her country Serbia with her son Agastya. After going there, she also posted some photos with her son, to which Hardik also gave a beautiful and loving response.
Hardik Pandya and Natasha are a beautiful example of how parents can co-parent their child well despite being separated.
So today’Relationship‘ In this column, we will talk about co-parenting after divorce. Also, we will learn some parenting tips from the counselor so that the divorce does not have any negative effect on the child.
Relationship counselor Aparna Deval spoke to Dainik Bhaskar on this subject and also gave some suggestions.
Parents can remain friends even after divorce
Even after divorce, partners can maintain friendly behavior with their ex. This requires a little wisdom, mutual understanding and goodness. It may not have much impact on the husband and wife personally, but it is very important for the mental health and well-being of the child.
Aparna Deol suggests that parents should focus on creating a loving environment for their child rather than on personal differences. This will be good for your child because after the separation of parents, children start feeling lonely. Many times they are not even able to express their emotions.
Avoid interfering in each other’s lives after divorce
After separation, the couple should avoid interfering in each other’s matters. Even if the matter is related to your child, instead of interfering, you should discuss and take decisions about it. One-sided decisions should not be taken. This will avoid mutual differences and both will remain satisfied. Some necessary limits can also be set for conversation.
According to Education Resources Information Center (ERIC), America, divorce is a long and stressful process. It has a huge impact on children mentally. The effects of divorce on children have been explored in a study. This study shows that pre-school children are most deeply affected by their parents’ divorce. They are more sensitive. The effect of parents’ divorce is seen in children in the form of sadness, fear, irritability, stress, anxiety and emotional imbalance.
How to do co-parenting after divorce
After separation, parents live separately, which makes parenting even more challenging for them. In such a situation, co-parenting has to be done while staying away, for which it is important for parents to take care of some things.
Follow these tips to create a positive environment for your children-
Avoid fights and arguments
Avoid arguing with your ex-partner or talking negatively about them in front of your children. This can have a negative impact on them. Due to this, the child can also have misconceptions about his parents.
Do not make the child the mediator
If the parents are not talking to each other after divorce, then avoid making your child a mediator. This can have a bad effect on the child’s mind. It is the responsibility of the elders to manage the relationship, show understanding and behave emotionally maturely, not the children.
Let the child know that both are always there for him
After separation, the child either stays with his mother or with his father. In such a situation, he gets to spend less time with either one. In this situation, the parents should assure and assure their child that both the parents are always there for him. They may not be physically together at this time, but whenever he needs them, they will stand by him.
Make every major decision related to the child together
After the parents get separated, do not take any decision related to the child alone. This decision should always be taken with the consent of both. If both do not agree on this, then they can also take the help of a counselor.
Keep open communication with your child
Talk to your children about their feelings and concerns. It is also important for parents to know what their child’s opinion and thoughts are about your divorce.
Do not prevent the child from meeting the other parent
After separation, it is often seen that the one who has custody does not allow the child to meet or talk to his/her ex-partner. Doing this can also be bad for the child’s mental health.
Create a positive atmosphere
Whoever gets the custody of the child after divorce, should ensure that the child remains happy. Obviously, after separation, the child feels the absence of one of the parents. To overcome this, it is important to create a positive environment for the child. If there is tension and depression in the house, it will have a very bad effect on the child’s mind and heart.
Seek help from a counselor: If the challenges of co-parenting become unbearable, the help of a family doctor or counselor can be sought.
